T Minus 1 Til No Sweets June

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I see you with your cheeks all stuffed!, originally uploaded by EmileJ.

Well, tomorrow marks the end of No Alcohol May, and begins No Sweets June. I’ll bet you think I look a lot like this chipmunk right now, except instead of nuts, I’d be stuffing my cheeks with Peeps or something.

But, my body surprised my mind by not actually craving much sugar today. That’s a good thing right now, but I may regret having not loaded up on sugar, later.

Yup.

Presenting…

You know in all those Jane Austin/Bronte sister novels, how there were always these big parties where the girls would get dressed up in these giant gowns and frilly corsets and then parade down an elegant staircase into an enormous ballroom while everyone turned to watch? Oh, they’d prance around and bow to people and act all proper and polished. It was the kind of event that seventeen year-old high society girls participated in so they could officially present themselves to the community as women. It was a public display of their bodies and their charm; an overt announcement that they were officially ready to start being pursued for marriage.

God, I hate the formality, pompousness and horribly tedious social graces of the Romantic era, although sometimes I can’t help but feeling, that at age 27, I’m still hiding in a little room near the top of a grand staircase, breathing into a paper bag in order to get my nerve up to put down that bag, to open the door of the little room, and to walk down that staircase.

However, it isn’t that there are men waiting to greet me as I descend into the ballroom. Instead, what’s waiting for me at the bottom of the staircase is my life.

—–
Currently listening to Pomp and Circumstance ?

Yup.

The Jungle

Upton Sinclair was 26 when he wrote The Jungle. He saved up a little money and spent six weeks living near a meat factory in Chicago. He wore old clothes and carried a lunch pail, and that enabled him to pass as one of the factory workers. He spent six weeks talking to the employees of the factory, committed every scene to perfect memory, and left, dirt poor, to New England. He locked him self in a tiny cabin he had made, and wrote this book. To do that at 26, is, I think, pretty amazing. And if you read just the first few pages, you’ll realize his vocabulary and sentence structure are super evolved and articulate.

I picked this book up at the library last night, in an attempt to read it before Book Club. I’ve joined a new book club to be hosted at Allison’s house. I’m excited about having the challenge of reading something to be discussed in a group. I haven’t been involved in a book club in some time…probably a year ago since I read Lolita for the last book club in Boston.

This book cover is garish and macabre, but I happen to really like it. The one I have is just a plain white cover with the title in red serif letters. This book has been reprinted so many times that there are a million covers for it, but I think this one above, by Penguin, is the best. Penguin has done a series of books with great cover illustrations like this one, all printed on very thick, toothy paper covers with a matte finish and French flaps, called the Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition. They’re awesome. I’d eventually like to own all of them, just cause I think they’re so well-designed.

Here are a few more of my favorites from the series:

Yup.

Drinking Water

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the letter i, originally uploaded by *MarS.

It’s a little funny to admit, but sometimes I’ll do anything to avoid drinking water. Water is a given, something you always have lying around your house, like white rice or apples. But even more accessible than those. It’s such a common staple that it becomes uninteresting and unappealing to me most times. I get to assuming it will always be around, and endless supply of it streaming from your toilet or showerhead or faucet. And I take it for granted.

And I underestimate the power that it has on my body as well. Living in the desert, you’d be surprised, but you do get thirstier easier. You have to drink more liquid because the absolute lack of humidity in the air leeches moisture from your body at a surprisingly fast rate. If I don’t drink enough liquids, I will wake up the next morning with the feeling of something like a hangover, only even a little scarier. I have never been truly dehydrated, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about anyway.

When I sit around my house, relaxing, and then I think: man, I would love something to drink, my first choice is rarely water, especially if I already feel cool and relaxed. Well, water is preferable when I’m out of breath and hot from exercising or being out in the heat, but for most normal times, if there’s juice or Coke or even milk around, my instinct is to forego the water and choose something with a little more interesting flavor.

The truth is, water is boring. It has no flavor (or, perhaps, Water IS a flavor?). Or worse, if it’s not properly clean, it has a bad aftertaste. What’s the point in drinking something that has no flavor or is mildly gross when you can have something that tastes delicious?

Also, I remember growing up and asking my mother for treats like ice cream or chips for snacks before bedtime, and instead of letting me eat late at night, she would always say “Why don’t you drink a big glass of ice water? That will quench your hunger.” #1, I didn’t believe her, and #2,I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do less than drink a big glass of ice water to curb my cravings on sugar/salt/carbs. So unappealing.

This has been my opinion on water most of my life. Sure, I will drink it, with dinner or during the day or at the gym, but it’s never been my best friend. At the root of this, I have come to the conclusion that my relationship with food and liquids is one of how I percieve them as a like/dislike, rather than as a benefit/detriment.

I typically take the opinion that food is to sustain/quench/entertain, rather than sustain/nourish/energize. And I know that’s wrong, but it’s so hard to change. What I really need to do is visualize my body as a separate entity from my mind, one that I must take care of with proper nutrition and water so that it can do the best job of supporting and hosting my mind.

I need to switch my mindset from always attempting to placate my desire for sugar and salt and other things I don’t need, and instead focus on what kinds of things to eat that will make me the most healthy. It’s a simple thing to say…but.

I mean, of course a big part of bad eating habits is emotional eating, or eating when I’m bored or eating just because it’s there. Part of that is going to go away when I start buying my own groceries, but until then, I thik I’m going to try an experiment:

You know how he nutritionists always recommend 8-10 8oz glasses of water a day? And how no one really makes a point to do that every day? Well, I am going to try it. For one month. Just to see what happens to me. Maybe I’ll end up loving the effect it has on me, maybe I won’t even be able to tell.

So, in addition to giving up sugar for June, I’m just going to piggy back on this project the goal of drinking nothing but water, and drinking a minimum of 8 8oz glasses of it a day. It’s an experiment to see if my body loves it, or if it makes no difference. Because I’ve never given water the chance to prove it’s benefits to me over a long period of time. I keep hearing it’s good to drink nothing but water, but now I want to see.

I don’t plan to do it for ever, of course. I’m just going to drink only water for one month. You can do anything for a month. What will I miss most? Pop and coffee, for sure. And, yes, this means that I’ll be giving up alcohol for a second month in a row. But thirty days goes by fast, and then I can go back to drinking other stuff once again, with hopefully a new respect for water.

Yup.

Kelso Dunes and the Scientists from Zzyzx

Panic Grass on the Kelso Dunes, the Sierra Nevadas just beyond

Allison and I drove to the Mojave National Preserve in California on Friday. Aside from camping in the most desolate and possibly most terrifying + lonesome campsite ever, we had a great time.

The Mojave Preserve is in the very southern region of the desert, but it encompasses a fairly large area, probably 80 miles or so across. It’s managed by the BLM, which always does a pretty good job of keeping up the roads. We drove into the belly of the park, down a long, narrow, red paved road flanked with miles upon miles of dense forest of Joshua Trees.

We got lost a couple of time on some slow going back dirt roads. There would be nothing for miles and miles except the abundance of rather crepuscular black tailed jack rabbits playing chicken with my tires and the occasional scary lone double wide at the end of a sandy driveway.

We finally got to our campsite around eight thirty or so, and it was pretty dark. It looked like a fire had gone through the campsite, because all the pinion-junipers were stark and black. There were little green creosote bushes growing up like phoenixes around their predecessor’s skeletons.

There were no crickets in this part of the desert, so it was so quiet we could hear the beating of wings of black desert hawks as they passed by. I sprayed around our tent to keep out the scorpions and tarantulas, and we set up camp.

We ate some cheese bratwursts and kettle chips. We kept seeing these things swoop down by us and we thought they were bats but we realized later it was the little gray desert hummingbird. We heard weird, unidentifiable bird calls somewhere in the distance, toward the mountain range just 2 miles beyond. We talked for a long while and then after the fire died out, we went to bed. We thought we were alone for miles in any direction, but we kept hearing voices.

It was hard to get to sleep, and the night seemed to get creepier by the minute. We kept hearing voices and then we thought we heard some footsteps by the tent, at which point, Allison and I spent a long, scary moment completely still, staring wide eyed at each other in anticipation of death. However, I opened the tent, and there was nothing there.

We finally got to sleep, and woke up around 7 am. We saw some people walking by us, which was surprising because we thought we were isolated from humans at like a 30 mile radius, but at least it explained the voices from the previous night. Turns out, we realized later, a few hundred yards down the road there were actually several people camping in a lush part of the campsite that hadn’t been ravaged by fire. We had to laugh at ourselves.

Our campsite, with my new tent from Eureka

We ate some breakfast and packed up camp and drove on to Kelso. Kelso was a hard place to reach, we had to drive deep into valleys and along several slow-going roads that were rickety gravel.

Kelso Depot

We reached Kelso about 10:00 or so and stopped at a little old train depot that had been converted into a museum/gift shop. There wasn’t much else in Kelso, except an old post office that seemed to no longer be in use. I didn’t see any sign of houses or anything. It was a weird little town. But we toured the museum and then drove on to the dunes.

Blackbrush (aka Tumbleweed) on the Dune Plane

The dunes are 600 feet high, and stretch for a mile or so. You have to walk through about a half a mile of sandy stepped ground until you reach the dunes. It is hard walking through sand, especially when it’s 100 degrees.

Scientists from Zzyzx

We passed several scientists from Zzyzx who were recording the behavior of lizards, birds, sidewinders and other animals crawling in the sand.

Dune Grass with what look like to be Kangaroo Rat tracks in the upper right

Well, we had a limited time frame and it was really hot, so we didn’t make it to the base of the dunes. However, we did get pretty close to them, so that was good enough for the moment. I would like to go back and spend a real day there, climbing the dunes and taking pictures on them, but that will probably have to wait until the winter, or at least the fall, when it’s a bit cooler.

View heading back to the car, away from the dunes, Sierra Nevadas in distance

On the way out of the park,we took a different exit, out towards Baker. The roads were so empty. It was a single two way road that crossed through miles and miles of empy desert, rocks and cacti. I saw some teddy bear cactus, which was exciting, but I didn’t stop to photograph, because I was on a time schedule. There were so few other cars on the road that I ignored the 55MPH speed limit sign and started barreling through there at about 80. Why not? It was perfectly sunny, perfectly empty, and almost perfectly straight. At one point, I even got up to 100…which was the first time that I’ve gotten going that fast. It was a little scary, because cars start to shake a little when you approach those speeds, so as soon as I saw the needle cross the 100, I slowed way down again to 80. But it was thrilling, just for a moment.

I saw this sign on the way back to Vegas, in Baker, California, where gas is $3.85 per gallon.

—–
Currently listening to Cure for Pain by Morphine

Yup.

Successes, Too

Detail from Morgan’s Birthday Cake, 2007

Well, I just wrote a big blog two days ago about how much I’ve been failing as far as the job hunt goes. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, tho, cause I’ve had some great successes, too. And I feel like I should acknowledge and be thankful for good things that have come my way.

Part of the reason I wrote that blog about all the interviews I had, and all the times I was rejected was to itemize my effort. I wanted to see how hard I’ve tried. And if I truly have given the job market a good effort here, or if I’m just blowing smoke up my own ass.

And you know what I figured out? The advertising agcencies here, are, by and large, are carniverous and aggressive. I mean, damnit, there is some design that is SO cool. And I’ve seen evidence of it. Not all agencies do that design, but some do, and that work, at least for me, is really, truly rewarding. And I would like to do something that’s rewarding. But maybe…just maybe, I shouldn’t be working for an ad agency? What else can I do?

But I feel like I’m getting nothing. No design job. And I’m starting to wonder…Is there a reason for that? Is there some reason why I’m not supposed to be working for an ad agency? I mean, aside from their reputation of being a soul-sucking indutry, full of unrepenting buzzards and cagey mountain lions, what’s not for me?

I mean, truly, I would love to do mostly illustrations and music posters and I would be happy being my own boss. And I’d love to travel a lot. How do I mix those into a career that’s going to pay the bills? I need to figure it out.

So then, what am I supposed to do? How am I going to be successful? Well, for now, if I want to see my successes, I have to look to other areas of my life. And pondering these have given me a lift. So, for balance, here are some things in my life that I have to be happy for:

Freelance Design: When I had no money, freelance jobs really saved my life. I did a ton of them! There were so many I felt like I never had enough time to do them all. I worked on them most nights in January and February, as well as major parts of December, March and April. I’m doing it way less now, but that’s kind of by choice. And I’ve had some really good companies. One of them still owes me $900, so I need to get that. But the rest have been good about paying me and have really made a difference in my financial life.

Family: How great have the Clarks been to me!? Letting me stay in their house, rent free. They’ve embraced and encourage and aided me in so many things. And I appreciate it, I really do. I love being with my sister. She is such a great person, and I really do love her very much. She’s never anything but the sweetest to me and I couldn’t ask for a better sister. Also, Allison! She’s such a cool person, I’d like hanging out with her even if we weren’t related. And that’s rare indeed, haha. Plus, I got to see my mom in April!

Friends: I’ve really been able to spend a lot of great time with Andrea. She’s been such a good friend, and we’ve had a lot of great times so far. I’m looking forward to much more. She’s been there to help me out when I was sad or broke, and for that, she’s great. She’s fun and adventurous, too, up for pretty much anything, and that’s a great quality to have. And I’ve met Justin, and Sherrie and Bobby and Lisa. And there are others, too. I’ve had a great time getting to know then, they’re all super people.

Desert: I have said it before, I’ll say it again: The Mojave Desert is the best thing about my life. It just is. I love it so much. The Sierra Nevadas, Red Rock, Valley of Fire, Lake Mead, Sand, Cactus, Creosote, Burros, Jack Rabbits and Mountain Goats. All of these things are so wonderful, and each time I go back to visit them again, I love them all a little bit more. The desert is one of the major reasons why I’ve stayed in Nevada this long, and it is the reason I continue to stay here.

Photography/Art: Since I’ve come here, I’ve really done some fun photoshoots, and they’ve really been satisfying. Friends, family, Vegas, the desert. There are so many things to photograph and I feel like I’m getting better. It’s satisfying. Also, I am so excited about this comic that Justin and I have conceived…now we just have to execute it. Whenever I’m in a bad mood, I just have to work on it a little and I get happy again. This comic is really giving me a purpose, something to look forward to when I come home.

House: A new house to stay, and a nice roommate. Through Allison, I’ve met Carly, and Carly has a new house being built that she’s invited me to come live in. The rent is reasonable, the area of town is new and nice, and the house is brand new. I’ve never lived in a brand new house.

New Experiences: I moved to the west side of this country so I could experience something totally different. And boy, let me tell you, I have gotten my wish. But, you know what? Good and bad, it all ends up enriching me in some way, and I am thankful for that.

So, I am happy today. It’s Friday, and we have a three day weekend, and my work day is almost over…

I am excited about my camping trip with Allison. I’ll post pictures this weekend.

—–
Currently listening to Wincing the Night Away by The Shins

Yup.

Every Game in Town

Screen shot from PIE Design + Marketing, the latest notch in a string of rejections from agencies.

Well, after not hearing from PIE Design and Marketing for almost two weeks, I made the call today. To see if they wanted me to work for them. They were gracious. They said no. Their explanation? They said they were unsure of how they wanted to proceed with their budget. They had decided to go with more of a junior designer. Translation=They couldn’t afford to pay me. I asked for $33,000. That was a 2.5K pay cut from my last design job in Boston. I was willing to take that dive for the job. I wanted the job. During the first interview, they said my work “is great”. They said my experience “is good”. Yet, even though they are so busy with work they can barely breathe, paying me less than the average designer makes was too much for them. Well.

Time is running out. I’m moving out in 5 weeks. I don’t have a job that can pay my bills. I’ve feel like I’ve whored myself out to the design community, the one place I have experience and potential. But no one wants a dirty old used up nobody, which is what I feel like. Read on to find out why!!!

Taking a little inventory over the past nine months, here are some other tries, but failures:

One11. An awesome studio in a kick ass district of town, the Holsom Lofts, right on the edge of the artsy First Friday area. They were my first interview. I thought I did ok, but to be honest, I felt a little in over my head. That didn’t stop me from crying when they told me. They were my first heartbreak. Reason for not hiring me? “Not enough experience.” Fair enough.

Then, There was V2. To be honest, this guy up front pretty much said he couldn’t afford another designer. But he still wanted me to come in. He said he would throw some freelance stuff my way and then if I did good, would consider hiring me down the road. That sounded promising, at the time. I realized later that’s what they all say.

Schadler Kramer Group. Number 2 ad agency in town. Gorgeous office, amazing staff. I nailed the interview. Why didn’t I get the job? I will never know. Said they would keep my portfolio on file.

Wicked Creative. A sexy, strip-oriented agency making pretty billboards with pretty people for fancy clubs. All the people running the show were from Boston. Thus, the cheeky name. They said that I didn’t have enough experience. But seemed to love my work. Alright. Next.

Zappos. Despite their chaotic website, they’re an amazing company, and an amazing company to work for. My friend Andrea works there, and can’t stop talking about how much she loves her job. She’s an assistant buyer. I go to Zappos parties (still) all the time. They’re fun and young and crazy drinkers. I thought I had a good shot at this job, cause Andrea’s worked there for a long time and has pull with the art director. I was hoping the nepotism card would work for me. Did not. I suppose it was because I have very little web experience. So it goes.

PLSN: A lighting and stage equipment company that needed a designer for their newsletter. I was perfectly qualified for this job. They said they needed someone immediately and would call within the next two days. Even though this didn’t pay a whole lot, I thought the job was good because it almost seemed in the bag. They never called. I said ok, and moved on.

This company seemed perfect. Had a beautiful office, paid their employees well, was a small, cozy environment and seemed relaxed overall. I got along so so well with the boss. I thought this job was in the bag, too, and I was so excited. I went for a second interview. Turns out they had another office downtown near the Flamingo, and I was meeting with one of their major clients who had almost reached partner status. The lunch with their partner/client was a little off. I knew I wouldn’t get the job after that, but I lamented it very much. It was a hard one to lose. To their credit, they later did make good on their “come in to do some freelance work and maybe we’ll hire you” bit, but I had just gotten the solid, steady job with Taylor and was reluctant to leave it. So, that one was lost.

Point Distribution; a skateboard company. Their website is no longer active, for some reason. So I couldn’t get a screen shot of their site. However, the place was awesome. Very young, very hip feel, a little industrial and filled with sexy skater guys silkscreening on skateboards. That job, although the interview felt a little awkward, mainly because I was way overdressed, seemed a little elusive from the start. I never heard back from them. But that would have been such a great job, sigh.

Had this interview and they went on and on about how talented they thought I was. Then they said I didn’t have enough experience and they flat out told me that I wouldn’t get the job. I appreciate their honesty, but I was frustrated that they lauded my talent but refused me the position on a nominal amount of experience. They too, offered me freelance work with promises of hiring me down the road. I even got home with all the information for the freelance project, but then they backed out the next day. Sigh.

This company’s website was questionable, but at this point, I felt like I was running out of options. Their office was alright, though, and the job seemed easy. The art director praised my portfolio and then brought me in for a 2nd interview test. Designing a–what the industry calls a–down and dirty (meaning quick and maybe not all that planned) ad. I aced it. ACED IT. I did SUCH a great job, of that I am confident. I didn’t get hired, and they wouldn’t tell me why. I felt indignant. I asked what I could have done better, they had no answer. I smelled a rat.

Brand. I had an interview here, but to be honest, don’t remember anything about it. Needless to say, no job.

Out of need of money, I applied to this job. A friend of my sister’s works here and makes awesome money as a pharmaceutical rep. I have no experience, but said friend didn’t seem to think that was a problem. I filled out a million pages worth of applications, and went through a phone interview only to be told I didn’t have the proper sales experience. Oh well.

Had this interview right before Christmas. This was the perfect company. PERFECT. An awesome glossy mag, with fun photos and great design. I met with the designer, and she was such a cool person. Awesomely cool dresser, great personality, the kind of person you want to be friends with. The job fit my experience to a T. It was perfect. I met with HR, and the designer chick made it kind of clear in the interview that I practically had the job. The company paid well, there were great benefits, and the office life seemed awesome. When I got the letter in the mail that I was rejected, I sobbed. Why? I asked the designer girl. She meekly said that they had found somonelse who had better qualifications. How was that possible? That WAS the job for me. I asked her what I could have done better. She had no answer.

When I did get reasons for not being hired for jobs, they usually said that my experience wasn’t thorough enough. I would be better as a production artist, but production artist “isn’t what we need right now.” So, when DRGM opened a position for production artist, I jumped at it. SURELY they would hire me, I had 5 years’ experience in production. Awesome company, too. One I had scoped right away while looking for design jobs in while still in Boston, in prepartion for my move to Las Vegas. The interview went well. I showed them my portfolio, told them about my experience in production.

And after all that, you know what they told me? That I had too much designer experience and wouldn’t be happy in a production job, that it was beneath me. They still had me do a little production design test, which, of course, I aced. But they didn’t hire me.

So, too much design experience for a production job, but not enough production experience for a design job? Go figure.

Then Christmas happened. I took a little break to do some freelance work, but was back out on the job scene in February.

CDI Studios. Awesome company, really nice designer guy. Fun work, fun atmosphere, encouraged outside creativity and even encouraged designers to do freelance work so they would stay “fresh”. How awesome was that? I was so calm, cool and collected. I felt so good about that interview. I didn’t hear from him for a week. When I finally did, he said that it turned out that they weren’t able to budget a new designer. That they were interested in me coming in for a few days of freelance. I couldn’t sacrifice more than one unpaid day from my temp job at the time, so I said no, because they wanted me indefinitely. Sigh…

Then, a couple of weeks, ago, I had the interview with PIE. The company that wanted someone with less experience overall than me. Can a girl ever win?

These above, of course, don’t include companies I tried but couldn’t even get interviews with, like:

R&R Partners (Biggest game in town. Can get anybody they want…that was kind of a shot in the dark, but, oh well.)
Crear Creative (not hiring)
Virgin Advertising (never returned my several emails/calls)
Brown and Partners (not hiring)
PR6 (not hiring)
Nevada Gov. Parks designer job (What? You don’t have your Master’s? Sorry, Charlie)
Fried Mutter (no reply)
PRA (seemed promising before the interview, a friend of Jay’s. It was pretty clear during the interview, however, that they didn’t need a designer. Hm. HOWEVER, I will say that they did make good on their freelance project. I did some work for them, of which the compensation for that work saved my ass around Christmas time when I needed money for gifts.)
and probably about 3 or 4 others I am forgetting

I could go on and talk about the 8 or 10 companies I have been working for through temp agencies but this post is already ridiculously long, so I’ll spare you that.

I’ve experienced a lot of rejection. Why can’t I get a job in Las Vegas? Sometimes I feel like praying, like holding on one more day. But dude, I’ve been doing that for so long. I am feeling like I should give up. Just keep my mediocre job at the Venetian and eek by on my wage of $12 an hour.

—–

Thomas Edison, please help me. I’m feeling sorry for myself, and it’s getting the best of me.

“I haven’t failed, I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work”
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

—-
Currently listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Yup.

Remembering 3+ Years

The T Station at Hynes Convention Center, Boston

Well, this Month marks the 3 year anniversary that I left Oklahoma (for good?). I’ve crammed a lot of stuff into the last three years, and, since I’ve only had a blog for about two years, and a digital camera for just over one, I have some memories that I want to get down somewhere before they fade all blurry and watery in my mind. So this blog is dedicated to some of the more memorable things that have happened over the past three years.

May 2007 – Justin and I start our comic book, Andrea and I go camping at Callville Bay, Allison and I go camping at Kelso sand dunes at Mojave National Preserve. Quit drinking for the Month.

April 2007 – Mom comes to visit, we go to California. I see my first Cirque du Soleil show, Ka. Hired on full time with Taylor.

March 2007 – Join hiking group, Las Vegas Trailblazers and start going on adventures with them. Go on my first and highly anticipated camping trip of the year, to Echoes Bay. Go on my first date in years, also my last date (for years?)

February 2007 - For the first time in 6 months, I have a little money in the bank: relief. Working feverishly on freelance graphic design projects, time goes so fast I really can’t breathe. Enjoy the fact that spring starts this month in Las Vegas. Go see Second City at the Flamingo. 1/2 a year in Las Vegas.

January 2007 – New Year, and making some new friends. Getting to know Justin, Bobby, Sherrie, Lisa, Emily and Allison. Crazy Zappos party at Rain in the Palms, with open bar. Amazingly busy working on freelance projects. Score temp-perm job with Taylor at the Venetian. My last grandparent, Matilde Hobbie, dies at 93.

December 2006 – Spend Christmas with the Clarks, for the first time in three years. It’s nice to be with family on Christmas. Busy working on freelance projects. Work about 3 or 4 different temp jobs.

November 2006 – Working temp jobs, trying to pay bills. Go see Burn the Floor at the Luxor with Suzanne, Andrea and Faith. Buy pass to Red Rock Canyon National Park, starting a life long love affair with The Spring Mountains.

October 2006 – Turn 27, see the Bodies exhibit at Tropicana, and go on my first camping trip since entering Las Vegas, to Valley of Fire. Highly beautiful and majestic. Love at first site. Start my first temp job with All Star Vending, which lasts almost six weeks.

September 2006 – Amazing trip across the entire country, from Boston to Las Vegas, with stops in Pittsburgh, Champaign, Kansas City, Tulsa, Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Durango, Grand Canyon and Colorado City. I visit the Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde, and get to see a pletheura of friends and family; Maggie, Leah, my brother and some relatives from my Dad’s side, Logan, Ryan, Aisha, Jason, Jace, Ivy, Beth and her family. I do 90% of the trip alone, and love every second of it. The trip, especially across the Western half of the country, is phenomenal.

August 2006 – Las month in Boston. Trying to pack in as much fun stuff as possible. Trip to Maine for a long weekend with Christine, Hugo and Ariana. On the way back, stop for the afternoon in Portland, Maine with Ariana for lunch and tourism. Party in the Common to say goodbye to all my friends. Frenzied packing, and the magical accumulation of enough money to make my trip. Last weekend at Long Beach in Rockport, MA on Cape Ann. Beautiful, lovely times at the beach, including a scary float out to sea with Ashley in a big innertube. Sharks?

July 2006 – Tell my boss I’m leaving Kennard Design to move to Vegas. Trip to Providence with Brant and Bronwyn to see WaterFire. Trip to New Hampshire to go canoeing along the Merrimac river with Ariana, Hugo, Koz, Burky, Ashley. Fourth of July party on a rooftop deck in Kenmore Square-absolutely beautiful. Fourth of July weekend on the Beach in Mass (or Vermont?) with Burky, Ariana, Christine…and..? See Jason Lytle perform once again at The Paradise Rock Club, Allston, MA.

June 2006 – Go swimming in the Chestnut Hill Reservoir, get poison Ivy, ugh. Maggie comes back to town, summer begins. Lots of time at the beach and riding bikes everywhere out side. Bike Club 2006! See My Morning Jacket perform with the Pops at Boston Symphony Hall. Give up sugar for this month.

May 2006 - Mom comes on a MUCH anticipated visit to Boston. Great to see her, but it rains the entire time she is there. We still have fun and I have a wonderful time playing tour guide. Drive to New York City to see Jason Lytle perform live at Other Music. Give Jason my drawing of Grandaddy, melt. Cinco de Mayo party with friends.

April 2006 – I believe this is the month we have the engagement party for Christine. We surprise her at Ariana’s grandmothers home in Church Park. Great time is had by all! This month Ariana and I really start going to the farmer’s market, Haymarket, all the time. I get a new digital camera and start photographing everything.

March 2006 – Andrea comes to vist. We spend a good old fashioned St. Patty’s day in the most Irish of Irish-American towns, Boston. Drink and be merry. We also drive to NYC to see a broadway show, The Jersey Boys, which was excellent. Danny leaves Boston. One last lovely weekend with him as we pick up his mom in Providence. Go to the zoo there and then spend an evening together watching Ween live on DVD and drinking wine and eating takeout. Bye Danny! Ariana, Beth and I get the Mormon boys to come to Book Club at Qing Ping. Go see Eagles of Death Metal with Natlie and Tad at The Paradise Rock Club.

February 2006 - Work for Japanese Mafia. Quit, with life intact. Go to Nashoba Valley to intertube down giant snow hills with Ariana, Ellen, and Justin. Ariana and I host like three parties. Insane, but fun. I throw Ariana a surprise party at China Pearl. It almost doesn’t happen, because of a major snow storm. But everyone makes it and we have a great time eating dim sum. I think the is genuinely surprised. We bust a pinata in the common aftewards, but lose all the candy in the snow.

January 2006 – Throw goodbye party for Angel, who leaves for Australia to go to grad school. Goodbye, I’ll miss you! Freeze your ass of BBQ at Hugo’s. I start hanging out more and more with Ashley, whom I love. TMC Youth Mural Painting Party!

December 2005 - Spend Christmas without family for the first time ever. Angel comes over to be with me and we go out for Chinese. Crispy Milk Cubes, Squirrel Fish and Champagne. Ariana is gone practically the entire month in Cameroon and the Congo. She returns before Christmas to give me an awesome mask before leaving again until right before new year’s. We have a good new years eve. We go out to dinner with friends at China Pearl and then she and I walk around town and end up at Cafe Vittoria in the North End eating cannolis. All of our friends end up ditching us, because it’s raining. We walk around the Common, looking at all the ice sculptures that are beginning to melt because it’s so warm out, and then end up at midnight at the harbor to watch the fireworks show.

November 2005 – I spend a very lovely Thanksgiving with Ariana’s family. We go to Concord, Mass for a church service. There is a light snow that day. Afterwards, we go over to the Colonial Inn for a most lovely family dinner, with much thanks to Ariana’s grandmother, who is very gracious. Ariana and I tour Concord, which is brimming with American history. We return that afternoon to Boston, and walk out to the Chestnut Hill Reservoir to feed the sea gulls bread. Very happy day. I start spinning class at the gym. Whips my ass into better shape. Ryan comes to visit from Tulsa. We spend a couple of days touring Boston together and drinking. It was great to see him. Mel also comes to visit for a week. We get to see her (after I haven’t seen her, for, oh, 5 years or so), and spend time with her and Natalie and Tad. We have a good weekend, eating out at Zaftigs, drinking wine and eating chocolate.

October 2005 - Ariana returns from Niger. We start living together in our new apartment. I am elated to have her back. Say goodbye to Sorin and Christine as they leave my apartment to move into their own. I turn 26, and I have a birthday party which is so loud that it angers the neighbors. Jasmin comes to visit me and Ariana in Boston. She and I go to a bar called the Liquor Store, where I ride a mechanical bull and nearly break my leg. It is great to see her again.

September 2005 – I finally get to move into my most beautiful of apartments. Friends Ifena, Hugo, Danny and Ashley are kind enough to help me move in. I spend the first night or two there alone, which are probably two of the best evenings I have spent that year. I am SO happy to be in my new place, it’s the nicest place I’ve ever lived. Two days later, Christine and Sorin move in with me. We have a good month together there (haha, for the most part) and I fall in love with Brighton/Brookline. Annabel moves back to England…goodbye!

August 2005 – Spend my weeknights cavorting around with Angel and Dale, drinking in the parks, laughing in my apartment and enjoying the summer. Spend every weekend with Maggie in Rockport. Take many train trips to and from there. Go to Briana and Craig’s wedding, where I get drunk at the open bar and run around all night with John O’Brien. He, Hugo, Alyssa and I host a big afterparty in our room, which almost gets us thrown out of our fancy schmancy hotel, Wentworth by the Sea.

July 2005 – My first month alone without Danny. Spend a lot of time crying and alone, and drinking. Ariana and Christine leave for the summer, so I am by myself a whole lot. Quit smoking. Due to my immense surplus of free time after losing my roommate (and his TV), I start researching Grandaddy music on the internet, during which time I fall deeply in love with the band. Start drawing again, it feels so great to be back. Start hanging out with Angel all the time. I spend time with next door neighbors Chris and Carolyn, who are very supportive in helping me get through the summer. We watch the last episode of Six Feet Under together, and cry.

June 2005 – Trip to Tulsa for family reunion. Get to see my parents, all my siblings, all their kids, and a few family members from both my mother and father’s side of the family. We have a wonderful time together. Also get to see a bunch of friends while I’m there, inlcuding Aisha, Jason, Jace, Ryan and Logan. Danny calls halfway through my trip out there and unexpectedly breaks up with me over the phone?!?

May 2005 – Cinco party with friends. Great ultimate frisbee tournament. Ariana and I get into huge fight. But we make up, and decide to move in together because Danny officially says he’s moving back to Oklahoma when our lease is up. Ariana and I score the most beautiful apartment I’ve ever seen. I am ecstactic to move into it. Danny and I are on the rocks a bit, but coming back as stronger friends, I am looking forward to spending the rest of the summer with him. Take an awesome trip to New York City with Ariana. Meet up with Nathanael to go to the Guggenheim and get a local’s tour of the City.

April 2005 – Try meade for the first time at Sunset Cantina, immediately love it. I open a MySpace account, and start blogging. Slowly at first, and then more and more, until you see what I have done here now.

March 2005 - Reading books for book club, working out at gym. Danny, Chris, Carolyn and I obsessed with Six Feet Under.

February 2005 – Danny and I spend Valentine’s day at Bhindi Bazaar and exchange gifts. Drive out to Maine. I go skiing for the first time at Sunday River with Maggie, Susannah, Gallic, Ariana, Annabel and Danny. Disaster for me, I’m a terrible skiier. But we all have fun. We spend the weekend in the snow, walking out over a frozen lake with Jill and her Jiant Dogs. Go to Fryeburg, where we go to the Musher’s Bowl to watch the dog sled races, and also to a snomobile race. See Queens of the Stone Age with Danny at The Roxy.

January 2005 – New Year’s Eve watching the parade. Wander around town with Ariana, Danny and Maggie, having a great time and filming crossdressers on the subway. Huge snow storm, I get a couple of days off from work. Danny falls deeper into depression. Meet Angel during a book club at Qing Ping, and we become friends. I join the gym with Ariana, and we start goin to boxing classes all the time.

December 2004 – Danny and I decide to have Christmas early, and rip into all of our presents like 10 days before Christmas, satisfying an urge that has been festering inside us since we were like, three. I fly out to Tulsa to see my family for Christmas. Spend it with Mom and Dad. I get to see friends and we have a great holiday. I get stuck in a huge snow storm on the way back, and end up spending a night in Memphis.

November 2004 – Danny and I on very rocky terms. Fighting a lot, but trying to make it work. His parents come to visit us for Thanksgiving, after swearing they would never come to Boston again. His mom cooks a huge dinner in our tiny apartment. I am amazed what she made come out of that tiny kitchen. Martha and Doyle are very sweet people, but having them there was stressful. I was so relieved to have my apartment back to ourselves. They drive Danny and I’s cars back to Oklahoma, so we’re both officially carless now. Not a big deal, though, because we barely use them anyway. Danny starts having some work friends come over to our apartment, so I get to meet them. Chris, Carolyn, Danny and I go to The Model in Allston on that fateful night where there is a huge bar brawl and someone almos gets killed. That’s the last time we go there for a very long time. Danny and I start playing Animal Crossing and Sims all the time on his Nintendo Game Cube. Book Club starts, I am very excited. We read Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner, and that book makes an imression on me which I dwell on several times over the next few years…We meet at Christopher’s in Cambridge to discuss.

October 2004 – I turn 25. Pretty uneventful birthay; Danny and I go out to dinner a couple of times, and he gives me some nice gifts. I buy myself an iPod, which is the best $300 I ever spent. Daniel and Carrie come to visit, Danny and I get into a huge drunken fight which turns physical. Bad, bad weekend. But we try to recover and enjoy that Daniel and Carrie are there. I finally get hired on full time with Kennard Design, and spend Halloween at Maggie’s house in Rockport. She wears a mouse mask and I wear an owl mask and we hand out candy to the little kids that come to the door. Seek Cake at The Orpheum with Danny.

September 2004 - I get really frustrated with my job at Kennard Design and think of quitting. Instead, I hold on. Danny and I finally get into our own apartment. Danny’s parents drive all his stuff out in their big mobile home, and Danny and I have a blast finding random furniture on the street and getting our apartment into order. It’s tiny, and a little crappy, and in a very collegy neighborhood, but it’s my first apartment, and I love it. Danny and I are elated to be living together. He is also very happy because work is a five minute walk away.

August 2004 – Danny and I spend this month finding an apartment and a job for him. We’re eating lots of hamburger helper and I’m trying to sell my car. We’re wondering where we’re going to get money to put for a payment on an apartment. I turn to my credit card, which I still regret,every month, to this day, haha.

July 2004 – Spend fourth of July with Hugo, Janine, Dan Carr, and Annabel. at the Charles River. Best fireworks display I’ve ever seen. Danny arrives in Boston. We are so happy to be together. He, Hugo and I spend a fun month together, going to the beach, lounging in the sun, drinking together.

June 2004 - I am feverishly looking for a job. Around the middle of June,I land my job with Kennard Design, and begin it on the 24th. A few days before I start my job, Danny calls me to tell me he hates Portland, and asks if he can come live with me in Boston. I laugh, and say ok, cause I miss him and cause I need a roommate. I start my job, and wonder if I’m in over my head? I spend a fun month hanging out with Hugo, going to the beach at Cape Ann, and having great Tropico wars.
My dear Grandma Nichols dies, I am filled with sadness.

May 2004 - I quit my job at Quik Print, quit my job at MiMi’s and say goodbye to Mom and Dad to move to Boston. I have no job, and only a little money. Let the adventure begin! Originally, I was going to be moving there with Danny, but the last week before we go, he calls me at work to tell me he wants to move to Portland instead, because he has a friend there who’s in a band and who hangs out with Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse (a band Danny hated until _I_ got him into it). I say OK, and we amicably and sentimetally part ways. I drive across the eastern half of the US, obsessively listening to Grandaddy’s Under The Western Freeway, The Mollusk, by Ween, and Good News for People Who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse. I love travelling alone. I make my first stop in Elsah, IL to stay with Carol Stukey at Principia. I get to see the campus for the first time in a couple of years, it’s nice to be back there again, it feels like home, but not home. I spend a few days in Columbus Ohio, wht Jasmin. We have a fun, but also kind of rocky time. I spend a night with Gina and her husband, Lowell, in East Stroudsberg, PA. I make it to Boston on May 25, which, as I’m writing this, is TODAY, three years ago, wow! Hugo and I have a great reunion, drinking vodka on the porch until late at night and eating candy Mexican hats.

What I have packed into the last three years seems unreal tome. I suppose I could go on for a while longer…but that’s enough writing for now!

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Currently listening to Under the Western Freeway by Grandaddy

Yup.

Foxes + Donkeys on the Brain

In addition to our comic being about donkeys, we’ve chosen to include foxes, as their primary adversaries. I’ve been having a good time researching donkey and fox pictures and practicing getting them down on paper. Foxes have been especially great–I’ve been drawing tons of them and it’s the most fun I have had drawing in a long time!

I’m a little bored at work today, not too much to do, so I’ve been drawing foxes. Above are a few of my preliminary sketches.

A little bit of interesting fox trivia: Dionysis released a giant immortal fox on to Thebes to eat the people, who had commited some crime. The fox was called the Teumessian Fox. I think I want to call my main fox character Tumesia as an allusion to that.

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Currently listening to Grit by Madrugada

Yup.

Comic Book Burros

Sweet lil burrito I photographed in Red Rock Canyon

So, after a few years of bandying about the idea of creating a comic book, I have finally taken the first real steps to creating one. My friend Justin approached me with the idea of writing a script together, and after a conversation we had while walking through Red Rock, it became apparant that we should do a comic book. About donkeys. Burros, more precisely, as that is the name for wild or feral donkeys.

We met on Saturday and had an awesome creative session where we formed the major plotline of our story, some of the main characters, and talked about some details of setting and key turning points. It was really fun, since we seemed to agree pretty much level by level on creativity and direction. I’m really looking forward to it.

The donkey is going to be a great subject, too. I love them. I’ve been researching the heck out of donkeys and have learned a lot of interesting things about them. For instance, did you know that the king of Spain gave George Washington a donkey that was named “Knight of Malta”? I find that hilarious.

Now that we have a basic story line worked and the beginning of the first chapter established, it’s up to me to begin drawing it. Which is a daunting task. I’ve been checking out the works of comic book geniuii(plural of genius?), the likes of Clowes, Crumb, Speigleman, Ware, Gorey and Dunn, to name a few. I know I can draw, but this is going to be a real challenge for me.

My biggest concern is that I don’t have the skills, or at least, am not up on my practice to portray the story exactly how I want. I have all these great visuals in my head, but turning them to paper is a scary thought. Ack. I love the idea of me drawing/writing a comic book, but the actual work is a bit scary.

I’m pressing ahead though, and researching panel structure and model sheets and all that, in hopes of getting myself through this without panicking or creating a shoddy product. Wish me luck! I do believe that this will take the better part of two years to complete, the way I want. Here goes…

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Currently listening to: Unidentified machinery whirring in the distance

Yup.