Nonphenomenal Lineage

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S.O.B.S.L.O.F.

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eaglesdeli
Here’s a picture of Danny with the SOBSLOF just moments before we devoured it. Can’t you just see the expression of pure excitement on his face at the gastronomical task that lies before him? I know I can.

This morning Danny and I went to breakfast at Eagle’s Deli. Eagle’s is located in Cleveland Circle in Brighton, and, as the sign on the store-front window tells you: It’s the second best place in the world to pig out”. (So which place is the first best? That’s a mystery, my friends. But one you need not ponder right now.) Underneath this tall claim on the window is a cartoon image of a pig with wings flying around Earth. With a sign like that, you know they aren’t messing around.

At Eagle’s, you order your food in a cafeteria-style line, and they cook it for you on the spot while you wait. Then, you take your plastic tray and sit down in the little seating area they have on the other side of the line. It’s always busy Saturday mornings, because they serve great “hangover food”—and, I live in a neighborhood brimming with college students.

Anyway, Eagle’s has a wide variety of grill food, but they’re famous for two things: Burgers and Breakfast. I’ve never eaten a burger there, but they have a 1 lb. burger called the Godzilla that is their most famous item. If you eat a Godzilla, they will take your photo with a Polaroid Instant Camera in front of a large cardboard cut-out of Godzilla on the wall. Then you can add a caption in black felt-tipped marker and post your picture on the wall to join the ranks of the hundreds–dare I say thousands–of illustrious Godzilla veterans who line the walls of Eagle’s Deli. It’s fun to read the Godzilla Polaroid captions…people say the craziest stuff on them. My favorite caption just said in large, messy letters

MEAT HAMMER

What does that mean? Who knows, it’s just hilarious.

But I’m not here to talk about Godzillas or, the Chillerama, which is Eagle’s largest hamburger, weighing in at a hefty 5 lb that comes with a plastic cafeteria tray that holds a mountain of crinkle-cut fries. It’s $50, and looks like the grossest thing in the world. \
What I am here to talk about is breakfast.

Another thing you need to know about Eagle’s: It ain’t too clean. The food is cooked fast and to order, and you can see them cook it right in front of you, so you at least know if your food falls on the floor, but other than that, you can’t be sure how clean your food is. Bacon, nacho cheese, potatoes and pancake batter are slung everywhere in an attempt to get food out fast, so generally you get a little bit of each of those flavors in your food. That’s all part of the Eagle’s Deli experience, however–it’s all part of the “Eagle Charm”.

Why, just this morning, Danny and I watched the short order cook, who is huge and hairy like a wookie, drop a slice of American cheese on his soiled apron and then non-chalontly return it to the top of a hamburger patty on the grill. In those types of situations, the only thing you can do is shrug and laugh.

Danny and I ordered the S.O.B.S.L.O.F. The letters all stand for something, but I prefer to let that remain a mystery, as I feel it adds to the mystique. What I do know is that it consists of an amazing combination of breakfast foods. It includes: a pile of fried potato wedges, 3 eggs, bacon, sausage, gravy, all topped with a hearty portion of ketchup and nacho cheese. And it comes with 4 pieces of toast on the side.

DEE-lightful, my friends, delightful. We also ordered an order of HUGE chocolate chip pancakes, which were quite tasty.

After breakfast, Danny looked at me and said “Oh God. I need to get to a bathroom right now. I’m about to SOB this SLOF, if you know what I mean.”

And I did.

—–

Currently listening to Z by My Morning Jacket. It’s all I’ve been listening to these last few days!

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Written by pocheco

February 18, 2006 at 9:33 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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