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The Evils of Seasonal Candy

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peeps
Exhibit A: Peeps (my ultimate nemesis)

I like candy. Who doesn’t? But my relationship with sugar borders on the obsessive. I like just about any kind of candy, and will eat just about every kind that is presented to me. I don’t like licorice, or really hot spicy candy, and I don’t like Vietnamese candy. The rest, is awesome.

Skittles and Starburst probably top the list. Equalled only by dark dark chocolate, which I don’t necessarily consider candy.

Most of the time, when I walk into a CVS or a Walgreens, I ignore the candy and opt for more nutritional snacks. Most of the time I don’t even think about getting candy. That is, unless it happens to be near holidays.

Something about holiday candy snares me everytime. I don’t know if it’s the limited access factor; that it will be around for a short time and then gone again, or, if it truly is just so much much more addictive than the regular year-round variety.

Here’s a break down of holiday candy that I have to have at least once a year.

Halloween
I love candy corn, especially the pumkins that are made from the candy corn marshmallow waxiness (marshmallow waxiness sounds disgusting by definition, but it is, in fact, delicious). You can only get those pumpkins for about a month before they disappear from the shelves for another 11 months.

Valentine’s Day
Those candy hearts by Necco with the little sayings on them. Everyone else hates them…what can I say? I love them.

Christmas

Although I don’t obsess over any Christmas candy, I do like candy canes. Again, you may only purchase those for 2 months out of the year.

But my ultimate, fatal attraction is to the sugary-coated blessings of the Easter Bunny.

I love Easter Candy. Always have, and, I’m afraid, always will. I have fond memories of snorgling Easter candy as a child, and I am sad that these days, at 26, no one hides a basket for me anymore. I always loved eating all the candy in my basket and then being delighted at finding a red jelly bean or a foil covered chocolate egg hiding in the thicket of plastic green grass.

My Mother, with good reason, used to limit my Easter candy intake to a minimum, so that I wouldn’t get all juked up and run around the house, or ruin my dinner, or vomit from too much sugar.

The bright side of being 26, is, however, that no one is limiting my candy this time.

Easter candy is the best; I love everything about Easter candy and I relish March and April’s abundance of pastel colored treats. I really try to limit myself, but I have two kinds of candy I simply can not, CANNOT resist. See Exhibit A, Peeps, above. Be it chicks or rabbits, yellow or pink, I have an enduring and long lasting obsession with these little sugar coated wonders.

No one, except maybe my father, seems to understand how DELICIOUS these are. Everyone around me seems to hate them. But, to me, they are like spring time narcotics. I always buy one package at the beginning of the season, and then refuse to buy them again until right before Easter, when I hoard them because I know they are about to disappear off the shelves for 11 months.

One year, right after Easter, I received a card board box from my friend Logan with the note: “Warning; Contents Dangerous”. It was a box full of Peeps. FULL OF PEEPS. YES. It was. I ate all of them. In about 10 days. Maybe less. God bless that man.

I like them frozen, stale, or fresh. But not on pizza.

The second culprit, equally as addictive, and one of the few remaning items in a post holiday-CVS is the Brach’s marshmallow eggs, see Exhibit B.

eastercandy
Exhibit B, Brach’s Easter Hunt Eggs

They are marshmallowy but in a different way than Peeps, with a hard chewy candy shell. I have to be really careful as to when I buy these because once I open the package I cannot stop eating them until they are gone. They are that tasty. It’s like I become slave to the sugar.

Tonight, I went on an admirable bike ride up a big hill and all around Brookline/Brighton that was a great bit of exercise, only to be ruined by my heroine-like addiction to Peeps and Brach’s Easter Hunt Eggs.

I stopped by CVS, to pick up some t.p. and casually walked by the Easter candy section. I wasn’t going to get any, but then I thought about my withdrawls that I will be experiencing until next March.

candybag

Good people of the jury, you must see that I have no choice against the Easter Hunt Eggs. They’re individually wrapped, people! Individually WRAPPED! I don’t even know why I try.

On second thought, it’s probably better these candies are only around for a small amount of time during the year, otherwise I’d probably have ODed on processed sugar by now.

Mmmmmm…

——

Currently listening to At War with the Mystics by The Flaming Lips

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Written by pocheco

April 20, 2006 at 4:43 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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