Nonphenomenal Lineage

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Prehensile Snout

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tapir, originally uploaded by Pocheco.

I had a dream about a tapir the other night. Not the one in the photo above, but one similar. The setting was a lush prarie of thick green grass and ferns with giant fronds, a sort of text book illustration of the late Triassic period, or maybe Cretaceous–well, something Mesozoic, anyway. The tapir was hairless except in a few random patches, and he was covered in a CMYK rosette pattern, which reminded me of the pages of an old Superman comic.

He was standing upright on his hind legs, awkwardly, and leaning back. His odd-toed front hoofs were pawing the air in a slow, dog-paddle like motion in an attempt to maintain balance. His prehensile snout was roaming squirmily through the air, like an arm that had just lost its hand, or like a giant thick angry earthworm that’s just been pulled out of the ground. I could hear the snapping of twigs under his hind legs as he shuffled them to stay standing, but everything else was silent. It really creeped me out.

Plus he was staring at me. I don’t at all like the eyes of tapirs. They are beady, and are encased in rubbery capsules that make them look evil and greedy. And mean. I bet they have a lot of enemies in the animal world, these filthy sneaky beasts. Tapirs kind of look like pigs, but they’re more closely related to hippos and horses than pigs.

I ate part of one in Venezuela once. I don’t remember how it tasted.

A few nights before that, I had a dream about an animal that had the body of a donkey, but was super wooly and had the head of an alpaca. I was riding on its back, and it was running full tilt down a hill.

Good thing I don’t put any stock in the meanings of dreams, or I think I’d be in trouble.

Currently listening to Everything All the Time by Band of Horses

Written by pocheco

March 15, 2007 at 6:58 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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